IBNA- Self-help book 'Stay or Leave?: Six Steps to Resolving Your Relationship Indecision' (2011) by British psychologist, relationship therapist and author Beverley Stone has been translated into Persian and published.
Recommended by an Indian-American author and alternative medicine advocate Deepak Chopra, the book has been translated into Persian by Mitra Naderi. Sham’douni Publishing has released ‘Stay or Leave?' in 1000 copies.
This is a book for people who are tearing themselves apart, unable to decide whether to leave their partner or stay. This dilemma feels terrible, dominates their life and is constantly in their thoughts. Because they can see both sides of the argument, this constant swinging from go to stay leaves them mentally exhausted, emotionally drained and physically ill.
They may have been on this dreadful seesaw for weeks, months or even years. Finding the courage to change their life and cross their ‘Rubicon’ can be very hard. The potential repercussions seem overwhelming. Whichever choice they make surfaces fear and apprehension.
So why should they even think about exposing themselves to such pain? Because the alternative is that, by remaining the same, their life will always be as unsatisfying as it is now. So, the book shows that the reward of finally becoming the person they want to be, of living the life they want to live, is surely worth the struggle.
It shows what will happen if they remain indecisive. It confronts them with the deepest fear in the human psyche the terror of living a wasted life. They are wasting their life by constantly vacillating. And they know it. By keeping this thought in the front of their mind at all times, the reader will finally find the courage to get off their seesaw once and for all.
The 64 Million Dollar Questions posed in the book will encourage the reader to hold a mirror up to themselves, challenge their current beliefs and assumptions and help them develop a new perspective. This perspective is encompassed in the 6 Life Changing Hurdles that readers must overcome if they are to have a fulfilled, rather than a wasted life:
1. Be Authentic – take the risk of being yourself (not what everyone else wants you to be)
2. Accept anxiety as a positive, fundamental human experience (stop giving in to it)
3. Make your one and only life a meaningful one (not one that you’ll end up regretting)
4. Take responsibility for your situation (no blaming others)
5. Be aware that you always have a choice (you’re not as trapped as you think you are)
6. Live by your own values and standards (not everyone else’s)
Armed with this newfound philosophy along with practical tools and techniques on how to change attitudes, thoughts and behaviours, the book will make it clear which decision they should now take to either stay, but in a radically improved relationship or to leave and make a new beginning. Either way, their dilemma will have been resolved.
Beverley Stone is a chartered psychologist, with a degree in Applied Psychology and Masters in Human Relations. She is an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society, a registered psychologist with the Health Professions Council, a Senior Associate of the Royal Society of Medicine and is a founder member of the Association of Business Psychologists.
As a media spokesperson for the British Psychological Society, she is a frequent contributor to the national press, journals, magazines and radio.